Brian Zembic: the man that will bet on anything.
“Look at these fucking things!” yells Zembic, “Don’t they look alien?”
“Before I got them, I had no idea they glowed like this,” “Apparently, it doesn’t work with silicone. Only saline.”
A motley rabble of wealthy Vegas gamblers who bet on pretty much anything—were discussing how nuts it was that their friend Martha, and for that matter women in general, went under the knife for a bigger rack. Were breasts really that important?
“I said, ‘Fuck, yeah! The only reason Martha gets attention is because she has boobs,’” says Zembic. “‘And if I had them, I’d get just as much attention. Even more. Because the whole world revolves around boobs.’”
So one of his pals, issued a challenge. He said he’d give Zembic $100,000 if he got breast implants, but that's not all Zembic would get the money only if he lasted a year with the tetons but he had to pay for the surgery himself. and guess what...
Hello, did you not see the picture, he did!
But here's the thing last time someone checked 2005, HE STILL HAS THEM!
Here's the reason why he says.
“You know why? Because I can’t afford to have the damn things taken out!” “No, seriously, it’s because I hate operations. That general anesthetic, it makes me so sick. And now I’ve had them in so long, there’s all this scar tissue underneath…”
Righht... guess those symptoms happened after the first operation...
He goes on to say:
“You know what? I can’t even remember what it’s like not having them. Is it really eight years? Shit. That’s nearly a fifth of my life. That’s a long time to have boobs.”
So what does this world class blackjack backgammon playing, ping-pong coaching, amateur magician do in his off time, while he's chilling in his house overlooking his hummer that gambling built..??? He's pulling cards out of cleavage and getting laid apparently.
“It’s unbelievable,” says his friend Derek, “It’s not as though he’s good-looking. But he gets away with murder. He gets them laughing, pulls a few cards out of their cleavage, and next thing you know he’s cupping their tits and they’re away.”
Why Mr. Zembic what do you have to say to that?
"I still live for nice breasts, even though my own don’t do anything for me,” “That was my big worry about getting the implants: How the hell am I going to get some chi-chi? But, you know, I’m shocked—there’s never been a girl who hasn’t enjoyed them. The boobs help. Now if I think I have no shot with a girl, I use the boobs. If I had them removed, I’d be like, ‘Jesus Christ, how am I going to get a date now?’”
How do you keep up with the upkeep, do you vaseline them like Tyra?
“I shave them when I have a date,” Zembic says. “I’m a gentleman like that.”
So how do you get the ladies?
“A lot of things contribute,” he explains. “But I think it’s also because they’re all lesbians. I’m serious. They play around with them, they suck them, they rub theirs on mine. And they get to do all that without feeling like they’re lesbians.”
Does it feel good to have women sucking your tits?
“Not really, but I never had any feeling there before,” he says. “I just fake it to keep it going. It’s a turn-on for me to watch two girls. So when I’m with a girl, I pretend it’s not me and I’m on the outside, watching two lesbos going at it.”
Zembic in addition to writing a book, The Man With the $100,000 Breasts and Other Gambling Stories, has posed for both The Star newspaper and Helmut Newton. Then there were all the side bets Another rich pal gave him $2,000 to flash his tits in the middle of a casino. So far, he estimates, his breasts have earned him about $270,000.
But it's all not nipple sucking gambling fun.
Zembic has to play down the puppies in public everyday situations, wearing the baggy clothes, wearing sports bras to help with the pain of jogging, and he hasn't had a tan or went swimming in eight years. And let's just say Airport security is always little hesitant on whether he's smuggling illegal contrabands, or is that just an excuse to cop a feel?
“It’s embarrassing when they start pronging you right in front of everyone,” he says. “Once they back-roomed me. They looked at me like they thought I had a bomb. Luckily, I had the book with me, which explains everything. So now I always gotta pack that book when I fly.”
When asks what keeps him in shape, he accredits it to his boobs.
“I can’t put on weight, because then my boobs look like shit,” he says. “I want my boobs to look good, even if I’m the only one who sees them! Now I know why girls are always dieting. It’s for their boobs. I’m serious. I’ve got an insight into women now. Girls can relate to me, too. They talk to me the way they talk to gay guys. The only difference is, afterward, I try to bang ’em.”
He became so good at hiding them, he even hid them from, as of 2005, his ex-wife during sex.
“I thought she would freak out,” he says. “So I just kept pushing her away if she tried to touch me there. When I eventually told her [by handing her the book], she just cried. She was worried her parents wouldn’t accept me because they were traditional Chinese. But after an hour, she was over it and we were in the sack. We got married about six months afterward.”
How did his half of the family find out, through tv of course:
“It was one of those ‘Will the real Brian Zembic stand up?’ things,” he says. “But even her parents accepted me in the end.”
So why is she an ex-wife?
“she wanted to go gambling, and I wanted to stay home with Mika.” (his little girl) "And, yes, little Mika knows all about Daddy’s hooters."
since he's got the breasts, his wild child life-style has changed, he’s become a stay-at-home dad , playing online poker and coaching Ping-Pong. For a few grand, he’ll do the occasional magic show.
“I’ve got my savings,” “And I don’t want to risk that now that I’ve got Mika.”
Oh and get this a movie is in the works for like the past six years or something, and the script is finished. david duchovny, said that he would get real implants, to impress the academy, well that's one way to get your oscar.
“I was done after a year, I wanted them out,” Zembic says. “But then every year when they renewed the rights, they kept saying, ‘Keep the tits so you can appear at the end of the movie. It’ll be really cool.’”
David Higgins, the producer, laughs. “I’m not insisting that he keep his implants in; it’s completely up to him,” he says. “It would be great for marketing, of course, but we can always find another way.”
“If I ever looked in the mirror and thought, What the fuck am I doing with these?, then I’d get them out,” he says. “But I’ve got to say, I like them. They’re mine, they’re me. What can I say?”
Guess what, that's right another rich friend of his Michael Sall, has offered him another wager. “I get $50,000 if I go to a D-cup, or $10,000 if I take them out. But I have to pay $20,000 if I leave them in.” He looks pained. “I’ve got till February…” of 2006.
My Thoughts:
One: Weird yet interesting
Two: Do you see what rich people do to entertain themselves
three: I think I would see the movie... on cable
Hasta Lasagna, I got my EyEs on yA!!
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